No matter where we go, no matter where we work, there is always someone there we cannot stand. For the purpose of this article I will refer to them as the “nuisance”. These nuisances always seem to push our buttons at the worst time of the day. It could be a co-worker who wants you to start a project while you are about to leave (like Bill Lumbergh).

The nuisance can be a friend who lives and breathes gossip and wants to know everything about your life and conveniently has a big mouth.

It can even be the barista at your favorite coffee shop who just has to ruin your day because he gave you the wrong order with the wrong name or even just looked at you the wrong way.

When the going gets rough and you get cranky... here are 5 tools you can practice:

  1. Kill them with kindness. This is for the one’s who think they are up for the challenge. It is not easy to pretend to be nice to someone. However, if you are down for not having your day ruined this is one way to give yourself the upper hand. Think about it, the “nuisance” ruins your day for whatever reason…why give them that power? Spin it around and kill them with kindness (not literally, obviously). They would not have expected it. This also works great with your partner’s exes. It will leave them in shock.
  2. Try some empathy. If you are actually feeling nice that day try a little bit of empathy. No, not sympathy, but empathy. Empathy means you are sharing the feelings they are having. As in, literally walking in their shoes. See what it’s like to be the nuisance.
  3. Be the “Clooney”. Being the Clooney entails pretending they are someone else. Use your best Oscar-nom acting chops and use the well-known acting method of “substitution”. In this method actors (let’s say George Clooney because I love him) pretend the nuisance is somebody else… someone you actually like. If you don’t want to be the “Clooney” then at least pretend the nuisance is Clooney. I’m sure some interesting things would happen then.
  4. Pick a feature on their face you like and focus on that feeling. Ever look at someone so evil and so annoying, but cannot hate them too much because they have the perfect nose? Or even the perfect hair? Or the most innocent eyes. If you can’t see something emotionally good in the Nuisance then pick something physical.
  5. Figure out why you don’t like them. The Nuisance is a nuisance for a reason. Maybe this person really is a douchebag or is just an inconsiderate person. Whatever it may be it will benefit you to figure out why you cannot stand this person. What is it about them you don’t like? In Psychology, there is a lot of focus on the feelings we have when we look at someone we don’t like. It could be that they just remind us of someone we had a bad experience with. Figure it out. Maybe there will be more people to get along with.